I took a few days off, as there was a lot going on in my life and I desperately needed a break. I needed that time not just to relax but also to heal & reflect. On coming back to work, one of my well-meaning colleagues was concerned and asked me if I was “depressed”. It got me thinking…

…We live in a time and society where feeling even a modicum of sadness, anger or guilt has become unfashionable. Negative emotions have been pathologized and labeled as “depression”, adjustment “disorder”, etc. Gone are the days of poets and sages where melancholy and sadness were cues to slow down, heal and reflect on our lives. The modern-day remedy is to take an “anti-depressant”, spend more time at work to distract, or mindless indulgence in activities or things to “take our mind off”. Why can’t we embrace these very emotions as a natural human condition, accept and reflect on them rather than treat them as an ailment, disease and a faux pas. What defines us and sets us apart as human beings is the ability to reflect. Negative emotions are automatic responses when we haven’t achieved, or have been deprived of what we desire and value. On reflection, if we find our desires and values to be appropriate and right, we take time to heal, accept ourselves and move on. Often what we desire and value might not be a result of thoughtful rational deliberation, but a consequence of our unconscious and uncritical acceptance of values from our parents, society, religion or our dramatic false interpretation of our past negative life-experiences. Our negative emotions are opportunities to reflect and question our values, and change them if they are not grounded in reality. To question a value held for a lifetime and change a lifelong habit takes wisdom, courage and integrity. At the risk of sounding anachronistic, I hope we can return to the age of the sages where we can embrace feeling and reflection as human attributes.